"Seven Minutes. Seven Minutes is all I can spare to rumble with you."

"My X-Factor, will be released into the ring, ensuring complete, total, domination.."

One of the current wrestlers in the /v/WE and current World Hea/v/yweight Champion. Notable for his performance in the Royal Rumble against Donkey Kong. Wesker lasted for roughly half the match and gave a valiant effort before being eliminated by Donkey Kong. His feet are amongst the most educated in the league and is thus considered an Educated Feet grandmaster. Will never be added to a team because ALL HE NEEDS IS OUROBOROSSSSS


As a member of the Umbrella Gentleman's Club, Albert and his best friend William Birkin enjoyed long instances of binging on various substances, such as Tiajuana and Gerona Venom (Street named t-Virus and G-Virus) living lavishly in Raccoon City prior to the mass drug enduced rave that caused the city's eventual destruction. Birkin himself accidentally overdosed on the G-virus not long after Wesker barely survived his own overdose of a pure solution of t-Virus which literally gave him the abilities that you'd gain on a constant meth high. left|thumb||

Introduction into the /v/WEEdit

After being found stoned out of his rocker and bathing in a volcano after ingesting a rocket, Skeleton African was suprised to see that Wesker was relatively unphased by the ordeal, claiming that Sheva and Chris were just narcs; they had attempted an intervention before only to be brutally assaulted before he tried to escape via jet, and that he would be fine in seven minutes. Skelenegro offered Wesker a chance to refund his operations after his entire supply cache was destroyed by those meddlesome S.T.A.R.S B.S.A.A agents.

Jumping at the chance, Wesker shook the skeletal african-american's hand with a sinister grin.

"With this alliance, we are ensured Complete, Global, Domination." - Wesker to Jessica.

Rumours of an alliance with LiquidEdit

Team Blonde Bastards may be a long ways off, but there's no denying the similarities in these two powerful combatants, both love trenchcoats, conviluded plans, speaking in gloriously swave voices and more importantly, shouting the names of their most hated people, it has still to be seen however, if these rumours are true and more importantly, if they are, will they take down the Jew King once and for all?

thumb|300px|left|Official Wesker Theme

Performance and possible rivalry with Jensen: Royal Rumble Jan. 31stEdit

Coming in not long after the first two competitors, Wesker not only stood his ground in the time that he rumbled, but held his own against three other fighters whom he put out of the ring. He also brawled long and hard against Jensen before inevitably being put out by Dr. Ivo Robotnik, being cited for MVP by many spectators.

He lasted a total of 14 minutes.

World Hea/v/yweight Championship MatchEdit

In an elimanation chamber bout against Redpants, Ezio, Jensen, Solid Snake and Faux, Wesker proved himself the best of all, despite being the only one to bleed in the last match, by brutally kicking the utter shit out of his opponents, as is his staple as Grandmaster of the Educated Feet Style. Not even Ezio, a Master Assassin, could stand up to the onslaught, as the pair of them were the final two combatants in the ring. Being pinned multiple times, Wesker always found a way to break free and was finally victorious, cementing his status, as Based Wesker.


Based Wesker, enjoying his sweet victory.


The champion carrying his belt to the ring.


Normal Moveset

  • Tiger Uppercut
  • Jaguar Kick
  • Knee Cannon
  • Windfall kick

Finishing Moves

  • Lost In Nightmares
  • Rhino Charge

Unique Move

  • Viral Regeneration - By taking his time to stretch off and slick back his hair, Wesker removes all ailments and injuries to come back fully reviltalized.


  • Many fans call for him to remove his sunglasses in order to make his moveset more powerful, however doing so would be in a breach of his contract due to attaining God-Tier whenever he does so.
  • Confirmed Grandmaster of Educated Feet.
  • His trenchcoat, although magic in how it dissapears, is not in any way related to Jew Magic, but quite possibly Joseph's techni-color dreamcoat, dyed black.
  • His theme is known to play during matches where he never appears, this is infact because he's tipped the sound manager to play his song to keep everyone on their toes.
  • He is the CEO's accountant, bodyguard and personal assassin.
  • During the recent matched between Wario and Skelenegro, Wesker had his theme play to confuse Skelenegro, giving way to his take over plan.
  • Whenever he gets mad and slams the ground, he's activating X-Factor.