"DK, Donkey Kong! DK, Donkey Kong is here!"
"Royal Rumble is like a jungle, and he is master of all the jungles."
Donkey Kong is an electronic, video-game wrestler in /v/WE. His nickname is "The Natural" due to his wrestling talent emerging from a very early age, he is also able to pull off some of the most amazing moves seen in the VWE with great ease.
He is considered by many to be the greatest /v/WE wrestler of all time.
Video Game Wrestling CareerEdit
- Had a great 2-out-of-3-fall Extreme Rules match against Gabe "Gaben" Newell where DK emerged victorious after being behind 0-1 and being powerbombed through a ladder by Gaben.
- One shotted Terminator who showed up to interrupt his fight against Gabe on 27th January 2012
- DK vs JeWario showcased both fighters amazing talents with a match that seemed to last forever. JeWario used his Jew Magic to help him win the bout by SETTING A FUCKIN' TABLE ON FUCKIN' FIRE which scared DK, and putting the JeWizard in advantage.
- DK started out the fight in a bad shape, due to Jewario's trickery. After recieving a beating, he enraged and performed his well-known Triple DK Bombs against Wario, although Wario still resisted, DK ended up winning the match and recieved the title of /v/WE Champion.
DAVID VS. GOLIATH VS. A PARTY CRASHEREdit
After Metal.Gear.Fox defeated Team TF2, Faux wanted to prove his spiritual growth to the world, and as such he challenged Donkey Kong for the champion's belt. It was a fearsome sight to be sure, with DK towering over Faux, but Faux never once showed fear. His fans had never doubted him. It was time for Faux to repay their trust.
- It showed early in the match that DK's great size and strength could easily be turned against him by an experienced opponent, and Faux had endured numerous pains from DK's fists and bombs before. Even still, Donkey Kong showed his prowess as champion by holding his own against Faux's technique. It was clear what the crowd wanted, as they eagerly embraced Faux's battered body when he was thrown towards them. The battle eventually moved out of the ring, upon which a new challenger appeared. Solid Snake had seen the battle turning against Faux and came out to show his friend a final lesson in fighting, as the battle turned into a three-way with all combatants exchanging mostrous blows. Faux began to understand what Snake was trying to show him, at which point Snake removed himself from the arena knowing that Faux now understood what it meant to be a champion. As the battle dragged on, DK's great body was wracked with fatigue, and Faux pinned the great gorilla to the ground, fueled by determination and love for his fans and friends. Donkey Kong's time as the champion was over, but let it be known that gorillas are graceful losers indeed.
TRIPLE THREAT CAGE MATCHEdit
After winning his third Royal Rumble, Donkey Kong was poised for a shot against Robotnik. However, the devious Skelenegro set him up in a ladder match against rival Gabe Newell. The result of the match was ambiguous, and both DK and Gaben were given a shot at the /v/WE Championship in a Triple Threat Cage Match with Robotnik. The match was tense and heated with no clear victor, but The Natural was able to climb away with the victory and the title. No doubt his natural affinity for climbing served him well against his rather portly opponents.
31st JANUARY - ROYAL RUMBLE NO. 2Edit
DK was one of the participants of second Royal Rumble held during 31st of January. He was one of the last wrestlers to enter the Ring, so many viewers placed their bets on him, sure of DK's victory. Sadly, DK completely disappointed the audience by being eliminated by Gabe very quickly. The Hulk won the match.
9th February - FUN RUMBLES NO. 1 and 2Edit
Even though, both rumbles were organized for Rumble Lust Crowd of /v/WE, in both DK shown his Rumble Prowess by winning both of them. He drew #20 in 20-man rumble #1 and #20 (again) in 30-man rumble, where in final 1v1 faced current (at that time) Champion - Ezio.
In Other MediaEdit
Really, do you not know where you've seen this ape before?
In Video Game WrestlingEdit
- DK Bomb/Banana Buster - Three Power Bombs performed in quick succesion.
- Banana Slamma - After a pose, DK performs a body splash on the opponent.
- Has a rivalry with Gabe over many food based disagreements.
- Frequently has seizures during his matches for current unknown reasons, rumors speculate Vietnam flashbacks.
- Many suspect that him and Snake once teamed up to fight Stalin during The Cold War, which lead to a nuclear based cancer which now resides inside DK. This cancer is currently killing the monkey from the inside.
- Wario once offered "The Natural" a gorillion dollars to help rig one of his matches, but Donkey Kong declined.
- Hammer is a known weakness of DK (because of his past with Mario), as in every Champion Match each opponent pulled out a trusty old sledge from under the ring.
- He is allies with Snake. No one knows why.
- Gorillas have incredibly
small hotaverage penises.
- Obviously his weapon of choice are
- Has a cousin named Jimmy Kong known for having his face on Gorilla Munch cereal